Catching up

It's been a while since I've posted anything, because, well, life got interesting.

For those that don't know I've been plowing snow this winter. We just got hit with a doozy of a storm. I finally got some sleep last night. We got 32 inches of snow in a 24 hour period. I have been doing snow removal for the last three days with about 5 hours sleep total. Oh boy, I never new how much fun sleep deprivation could be. Just about everything from the last three days feels dream like and very surreal.

Including, I've met a new friend...
Well, we haven't actually met yet, just talk a lot online. Maybe we will never meet, but I'd like to. There is some kind of pull, her words, between us. I couldn't figure out how to put it into words. I was even inspired to write a poem about it. I haven't been inspired to write poetry in over 15 years. She knows I'm only looking for friendship right now. I've told her that I'm not ready for anything more than that and that I don't know when I will be ready. She makes me wonder what the future might be. Thinking about her always puts a smile on my face. It feels really good to smile again. It may never go beyond friendship and the nice thing is I'm ok with that. At least I know I will have another really good friend.

What else is up, the temps here have been hovering between zero and 20 degrees f for well over a month now and the water lines in my cabin keep freezing up on me. Luckily all the lines now are made of materials that won't burst from freezing. I had to replace the last one that wasn't flexible enough last month when it burst on me. Life in a small cabin deep in the woods is interesting to say the least.

I think I finally broke out of hermit mode, or rather life forced me to when I was having vehicle trouble last month. So far I'm managing to stay out of it too. I might even get to visit with my chosen brother soon, I can't wait to see him, it's been far too long. He lives over 350 miles from me. He's got a girl friend that lives about an hour drive from me though and he will have some free time for us to get together soon.

I guess that's about it for now.

I'll get back to putting up a word of the day too, I hope.
Peace

Normal?

So, just what is 'Normal'?

What do we usually mean by 'Normal'?

By most peoples definition it means that he or she is like everyone else, behaves as most people behave, and stays within current conventions.
Psychologists state that it is; Free from any mental disorder; sane.

I've often said, "The only people who truly scare me are the ones that say they are normal."

I don't know about most people, but I don't want to be like, or act like current conventions. I don't want to be 'Normal'.

More and more I am seeing current conventions change into a behavior pattern that just freaks me out. I've spent a bunch if time since the advent of the internet on many different chat rooms and email lists on subjects ranging from NASCAR to religion to sex to blacksmithing. I can't even count the number of times I've seen rudeness, belligerence, crassness, effrontery, blame and flaming on these forums that I had to give them up.

It was said that it happened on the internet because of anonymity, because of being disconnected to the person you are speaking to and that most of the time it started through a simple misunderstanding due to the one dimensional nature of words written in this medium. OK, I sort of understand that. So why did it become 'Normal' to disagree with someone by calling them a dirt sucking Nazi warthog fagot!

So why is it happening more and more with the actual spoken word on the street and in the house now? Little by little I've seen this prevalence creep into everyday communication by people on the streets in real life. It became so 'Normal' for people to flame anything they disagreed with on the internet that the behavior didn't take very long at all to jump into real life person to person communication.

Over the last eight years my willingness to share anything about my thoughts has diminished to the point where it scares the bloody hell out me to give my point of view or opinion on any subject anymore. I used to be told that I could put into words what other people could only conceptualize. That I could talk a starving dog off a meat wagon. And most of all that I had the ability to listen to and understand what other people were saying to me.

Not any more, I don't like talking to other people about anything meaningful unless I know them very well and feel safe with them. I've been told I'm NOT 'Normal' because I could communicate feelings and thoughts in depth, with compassion, understanding and empathy for differences in people and their opinion. I've been told I must be a sissy or mama's boy to be able to talk about emotions.

It's taken me a while now to understand something about myself and why I've been so depressed lately. I don't like not being able to communicate. It feels like I have mental constipation all the time.

So if being able to give my opinions, and feelings openly and honestly with compassion and understanding of differences means I'm not normal, then I don't want to be normal. This blog is my attempt to create a safe place for me to do that.

I welcome others thoughts, opinions, feelings, criticisms and even disagreements. I don't welcome any flaming judgmentalism, it will be deleted.

So how do you feel about 'Normality'? Why?

What does 'Normal' mean to you?

Do you think you are 'Normal'? Why?

Do you want to be 'Normal'?